Intersecting Permitted Partnerships
Level 11
~70 years, 4 mo old
Jan 16 - 22, 1956
🚧 Content Planning
Initial research phase. Tools and protocols are being defined.
Rationale & Protocol
For a 70-year-old navigating 'Intersecting Permitted Partnerships,' the challenge lies not in acquiring basic relational skills, but in adapting and refining a lifetime of deeply ingrained communication patterns and emotional responses to a new, complex, and potentially counter-normative relational structure. This involves integrating new partners (metamours) into a social sphere while maintaining the primacy of an established core relationship. The chosen primary tool, 'More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory,' is globally recognized as a foundational text for ethical non-monogamy, offering an unparalleled depth of practical advice, communication strategies, and ethical frameworks crucial for this delicate balance. Its comprehensive approach to consent, boundaries, jealousy, and metamour relationships provides a robust toolkit for mature individuals who are often re-negotiating relational norms established over decades. The emphasis is on intellectual engagement and thoughtful application, leveraging the wisdom and life experience characteristic of this age group.
Implementation Protocol for a 70-year-old:
- Joint Reading & Reflective Discussion: The primary relationship partners should engage with the book together, setting aside dedicated, distraction-free time (e.g., 2-3 hours weekly) to read specific chapters and immediately discuss their implications for their unique history and current relational goals. This ensures shared understanding and fosters a collaborative approach.
- Chapter-by-Chapter Application Exercises: Rather than passive reading, actively engage with the book's exercises and thought experiments. Focus on translating theoretical concepts into concrete agreements and boundaries for their primary partnership and the permitted individual partnerships, particularly concerning metamour interactions.
- Personal & Joint Journaling: Utilize a high-quality journal (such as the recommended Leuchtturm1917) for individual reflection on emotions, fears, desires, and personal boundaries. Subsequently, engage in joint journaling sessions where insights are shared and collaboratively integrated into a relational 'constitution' or agreement. This iterative process allows for deep, unhurried processing of complex feelings, which is crucial for mature adults navigating significant relational shifts.
- Gradual Metamour Integration: When introducing or deepening metamour interactions, adopt a gradual, 'low-stakes' approach. Start with brief, structured interactions (e.g., a shared meal or activity) rather than immediate deep integration. Use the book's frameworks to discuss expectations, comfort levels, and debrief interactions to continuously refine the 'intersecting' aspects.
- Professional Facilitation (As Needed): Given the deep history and established patterns, it is highly recommended to engage an experienced relationship coach or therapist specializing in consensual non-monogamy (CNM). These sessions can act as a neutral third party to mediate sensitive discussions, help reframe entrenched beliefs, and provide tailored strategies, especially when dealing with intense emotions like jealousy or insecurity, which may manifest differently in later life.
Primary Tool Tier 1 Selection
Book cover for More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory
This book is invaluable for a 70-year-old engaged in 'Intersecting Permitted Partnerships' because it provides a comprehensive, ethically-grounded framework for navigating the intricate dynamics of multiple committed relationships. For individuals with decades of relational history, the book's emphasis on clear communication, explicit consent, and thoughtful boundary setting offers a structured approach to integrate new relationships without eroding existing foundations. It directly addresses the complexities of metamour relationships, offering practical tools for fostering positive interactions and managing potential challenges, aligning perfectly with the 'intersecting' aspect of the topic. The robust and detailed nature of the advice allows for deep, reflective engagement, providing a language and conceptual toolkit to articulate and negotiate complex emotional landscapes unique to mature polyamorous relationships.
Also Includes:
- Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg (15.00 EUR)
- Leuchtturm1917 Hardcover Notebook (A5, Lined) (18.00 EUR) (Consumable) (Lifespan: 52 wks)
- Online Relationship Coaching Session (CNM Specialist) (150.00 EUR) (Consumable) (Lifespan: 0.5 wks)
DIY / No-Tool Project (Tier 0)
A "No-Tool" project for this week is currently being designed.
Alternative Candidates (Tiers 2-4)
Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern
Explores polyamory through the lens of attachment theory and trauma, offering insights into building secure attachments in non-monogamous relationships.
Analysis:
While an excellent resource for understanding emotional dynamics and attachment in CNM, 'Polysecure' is more focused on individual healing and attachment styles. For the specific topic of 'Intersecting Permitted Partnerships' for a 70-year-old, the more direct, practical, and comprehensive guide to communication, boundaries, and metamour interactions found in 'More Than Two' offers greater immediate leverage for structuring and navigating the 'intersecting' aspect of the relationships at this life stage. 'Polysecure' could be a valuable supplementary read, but not the primary foundational tool for this specific developmental challenge.
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, & Other Freedoms in Sex and Love by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton
A pioneering and widely read guide to various forms of open relationships, focusing on communication, honesty, and pleasure.
Analysis:
This book is a classic and foundational text for ethical non-monogamy. However, its scope is broader, often appealing to individuals exploring various freedoms in sex and love, and its tone may be less directly structured for established, mature relationships adapting to 'Intersecting Permitted Partnerships.' While it covers many essential topics, 'More Than Two' offers a more detailed, practical, and systematic approach to building complex relational structures, which is more directly aligned with the specific needs of a 70-year-old navigating the complexities of integrating metamours into an existing primary unit's social sphere.
What's Next? (Child Topics)
"Intersecting Permitted Partnerships" evolves into:
Consequential Metamour Interactions
Explore Topic →Week 7752Intentional Metamour Relationships
Explore Topic →This dichotomy fundamentally categorizes Intersecting Permitted Partnerships based on whether the interactions between metamours are primarily consequential, arising from their shared connection to the hinge partner or participation in shared social contexts without necessarily aiming to foster a distinct, independent personal relationship between them, versus those where metamours actively engage in intentional efforts to cultivate their own direct, independent personal relationships (e.g., friendships, co-parenting bonds, or even romantic connections) that exist and are valued apart from their shared partner. This provides a comprehensive and mutually exclusive division of the nature of metamour connections within an intersecting framework.